I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
It’s no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re NOT out to get you.
You’re slower than a herd of turtles [...]
What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.
Why doesn’t Jesus eat M and M’s? Cos they fall through his hands.
Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst [...]
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
WOMAN: The most [...]
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down [...]
