Adult messages
Hi, I am an alien and I’ve just transformed in your phone and right now I’m having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you’re smiling now!!
The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.
Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.
A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)
American students say:…..people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand
If you cry, I cry…if you laugh, I laugh…if you are happy, I am too…if you are sad, I am too…and if you are horny, call me.
What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?……………. They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet
Why does a woman have two pair of lips?………………. One is for fighting and one is to make up.
There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: “No-Sex”!
What you never want to hear while having good sex?? …………. “Honey, I am home!”
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain’t a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? …………. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What’s that? …..He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear…..
The difference between erotic and perverted:
Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.
If you don’t like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
What is the difference between a man and a dildo?……… A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!
